The Ghosts of New Year's Present

I have to tell you I don't mind seeing the back of 2010. As I write this, a friend of 40 years is sitting with her dying mother. Three friends have divorced, after 25, 17, and 7 years of marriage. My beloved niece saw the end of a long relationship as well. My brother-in-law lost his father two days before Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law's brother and his wife were in the process of adopting a baby girl and kept her for three weeks before the birth mother changed her mind. My daughter's teacher lost her mother to a sudden heart attack which no one expected. So many of my dear, dear friends and loved ones are experiencing loss and heartache, and it makes me so incredibly sad for them. I hope that 2011 brings healing and peace to them and to all of us, and better memories.

I lost my big dog, BC, to bone cancer in November. I took him in for his regular shots and they came back and said he only had a few weeks to live, so I took him back home with pain meds and steroids. After about 3 weeks the pain medication simply stopped working and I had to take him back in. I had hoped he would go peacefully on his own, but that's not the kind of luck we have in our house with our animals. It took the Mountain Man 4 hours to dig a hole big enough for him. We let all the dogs sniff him so they would know what happened and not be looking for him. The two older dogs took turns sitting vigil by the grave for a few days.You'd think one dog out of five wouldn't be that noticeable, but he was so big that the gap he left feels like more than one dog is gone.

This is him next to the dining room table.

When last we spoke in July, I mentioned my visit to my grandmother. We went to the grocery store and I talked her into sitting in one of those wheelchair carts and I pushed her around the store. At age 97 she was getting unsteady on her feet and using a walker to get around, so I convinced her that since I didn't know my way around the grocery store it would be better if she rode around. We had a lot of fun and I was very glad to get to see her. As it turned out, it was my last visit. About the middle of August she developed an infection, and her systems just all gradually shut down. She spent about a week in the hospital before she died, but she had a few very lucid moments toward the end. At one point she realized she was dying, and her last coherent words were "Jesus" and "victory." Now I don't know what, if anything, you believe, and more to the point, not sure what I do, but that woman had an abiding faith that sustained her through a very difficult childhood in poverty, constant relocation as the wife of a Methodist minister (who went overseas for two wars), and the loss of two of her three children at young ages (one as a baby and the other - my father - at age 27) and her husband of 72 years in 2007, among other things. She turned 97 in April, and she told my cousin and me on separate occasions that she thought she would probably die at age 97, since my Granddaddy was 97 when he died. Whether that was a self-fulfilling prophecy, or she just sensed something I don't know. At any rate, their 75th wedding anniversary would have been Christmas Day, and they got to spend it together, and she kept her wits up until that last week, for which I am profoundly grateful.

School started August 4. We love the Queen's first grade teacher. During the week Grandmother was ill, the Queen participated in a play, Beauty Lou and the Country Beast, put on by Missoula Children's Theatre. This is a fabulous organization that travels around the country to schools. They audition kids on Monday and have a show ready to put up by Friday. It's an amazing process and was an excellent experience for all of us. They start with first graders, so DeBoy won't be able to participate until year after next.

Here's her solo. Turn it up.

September and October weekends were full of soccer. Over Labor Day weekend we went back to Nashville to pick up my share of Grandmother's furniture. On the way we stopped at Kentucky Down Under, where the Queen fulfilled one of her dreams - birds ate out of her hands.

They weren't on the same team, two different ages had the same color - the Mountain Man coached both teams, and he requested the same color so he wouldn't have to have 2 t-shirts. Trying to save the league of bit of money (the league buys the coach shirts), but it was a nightmare telling the teams apart.

DeBoy turned 5 in October. He's grown 4 inches since his 4th birthday. My baby is a baby no more.

The number 5 birthday pancake.

Since it was Sunday, we had cupcakes and favors for the Queen's and DeBoy's soccer teams and other friends. It was the only cold, nasty, rainy Sunday we had all season.

 The cake for the party at home.

The Queen lost a top tooth, courtesy of her brother 2 days before. The other fell out about 2 weeks later, and she was still singing "All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" two months later. They still aren't in.

 DeBoy sums up his birthday.

A quick trip to the Knoxville Zoo for fall break. This is the same lion where we took in October 2007.

 

Hiking in the Lilley Cornett Woods.
 

Halloween: The Red Power Ranger and Sleeping Beauty

This is me with a very dear friend - we decided to dress up as 80s rock divas. We couldn't decide whether to call ourselves Desperately Seeking Dignity or The Gone-Gones.

And we come to November. For the End-of-the-Season soccer party, the league rented the roller skating rink. The kids had never skated before, and the Mountain Man and I hadn't been in about 12 years, so it was slow going at first. The Queen was getting the hang of it. DeBoy fell down a few times, but was doing pretty well. Then about an hour into it, DeBoy did the classic skating fall: both feet fly out, twist in the air, catch yourself on one arm, break the arm. Both bones. Fortunately, the Queen's best friend's mother is a PA at the clinic, and she had him splinted up and called the ER for us within about 10 minutes. We went right in and were only there about an hour and a half. He was x-rayed and they put a proper splint on it. We had to go to the orthopedist the next day and he said it was a greenstick fracture (meaning it didn't break all the way through), so he would have to break it completely and reset it for it to heal straight, and while some orthos will do that sort of thing in the office (it happened to my sister-in-law), he thinks that is cruel and unusual punishment (as do I), and we scheduled an appointment the next morning so DeBoy could be put under anesthesia and have the bones set. He was such a good little patient and very brave. He complained very little about pain. I was very nervous about the whole business after my horrendous experience in the hospital, but apparently if you're a cute little 5-year-old, you get better treatment. Which is OK.

And how many people do you know who had their cast signed by Santa Claus?

The obligatory arty shot of the Christmas Tree, put up the weekend after Thanksgiving, as they should be.

This was the Christmas card. It wasn't intended to be the Christmas card, but I liked it best.

And then it snowed. And snowed. And snowed. Friday December 3 was the last day of school until January 3. There was talk of going the week after Christmas, but it snowed then, too. We had snow on the ground from December 3 until December 30. (There for a few days we were afraid we wouldn't have a white Christmas, which after dealing with all that mess for the previous 3 weeks would have been highly annoying.) So the kids went back to school on January 3 - 6, then on the morning of the 7th it was snowing so much they dismissed school at 8:30. Apparently if you call off school before the day starts, you also have to cancel the ball games. So they went to school for 35 minutes in order to keep the ball schedule. Give me strength.

My Mom came to visit the first full week in December. In a way the snow was good because the Queen didn't miss out on any Grandma time, but we did missed some activities.

The Queen is showing off the three baby rabbits that came with her Littlest Pet Shop set. I thought we had escaped the Littlest Pet Shop craze, but she discovered them about 3 months ago, and that was all she wrote. DeBoy asked for a Buzz Lightyear and was much happier with it than it would appear in this picture.

One of our snow days included an 8-hour power outage, so we did this.

Sugar cookies!

And here we are in a New Year and the Queen turned 7.

And of course, more snow, with more to come.

And I'll leave you with this view of yours truly, discovering the best use of our driveway.

I'll Think About That Tomorrow

"I can't think about that right now; I'll think about it tomorrow." Scarlett O'Hara
____________

There was once an old sailor my grandfather knew
Who had so many things that he wanted to do
That, whenever he thought it was time to begin,
He couldn't because of the state he was in.

He was shipwrecked, and lived on an island for weeks,
And he wanted a hat, and he wanted some breeks;
And he wanted some nets, or a line and some hooks
For the turtles and things which you read of in books.

. . .

He began on the fish-hooks, and when he'd begun
He decided he couldn't because of the sun.
So he knew what he ought to begin with, and that
Was to find, or to make, a large sun-stopping hat.

. . .

So he thought of his hut . . . and he thought of his boat,
And his hat and his breeks, and his chickens and goat,
And the hooks (for his food) and the spring (for his thirst) . . .
But he never could think which he ought to do first.

And so in the end he did nothing at all,
But basked on the shingle wrapped up in a shawl.
. . .

from Now We Are Six by A. A. Milne
(if you want the rest of the poem, go here)
_________

I am officially overwhelmed by my house. I have so many things to do that I don't know where to start. The biggest problem is that most of them are just boring, odious tasks like washing the floors and the stairs, or dusting the tops of the picture frames. It's just about everything I can do to keep up with the laundry and the dishes. Then I look around and everything else that needs to be done and I just get befuddled and have to go read blogs or stare out the window drooling.

Then there are all the fun things I want to do, like tiling the wall over the stove, or painting the border in the downstairs bathroom. But which one do I do first?

So I've written all these tasks onto pieces of paper. The papers go into two containers. One is labeled "Necessary Chores" and the other is labeled "Fun Things." So every day I'm going to pick a task out of the necessary chores and do it first. Then I get to do one of the fun things. And if the fun thing isn't something I can finish in a day, I'll keep working on that one until it's finished. (See Resolution Number whichever it was.)

But for right now, I have to get back to the Christmas cards.

what?

From a More Grateful Place

I trudge slowly through the encrusted snow, following the small bootprints of my children, who are following the larger ones of their father.

The children run ahead, eager for the adventure. The father carries the heavier bags, I have the lighter ones.

I breathe in slowly, lightly. Cold, damp air combined with strenuous exercise can start me wheezing.

The big dog limps along just behind me, concerned about what I'm doing outside in this temperature. I tell him to stay. He obeys about as well as usual. I know he will struggle to get back up the hill after he has seen us safely away.

Ours woods are silent in that crisp winter morning way. No sounds of modern life reach my ears. I imagine earlier generations hiking through snow to various destinations.

But my hike is short - only about 1/4 mile to the bottom of the driveway - and my destination is our heated car, not a horse, or wagon, or even just the prospect of walking all the way to town (in our case 11 miles) for supplies, which would then have to be toted home.

I am wearing insulated waterproof snowboots. I wonder what kinds of footwear my earlier counterparts had available. Certainly nothing to keep feet as toasty as mine are.

When I reach the car, I see the tree that has fallen across the driveway just missing the back of the vehicle. A close call.

The big dog stopped when he saw the car, but doesn't turn back until we are well away. Then he begins his slow ascent to the house, where he will curl into his place under the back porch until we return.

The snow started Friday night, falling heavy and wet, bending trees until some of them broke under the spell of winter, taking down power and phone lines throughout several counties in several states. Many folks, including us, lost water as well.

We are luckier than most. We always keep plenty of drinking water on hand, and we have a wood stove with plenty of wood to burn which provides both heat and a cooktop. Two flashlights that have been charging in the wall plugs waiting for just such an occasion. Lots of card games and board games that don't require a lot of light to play. Lots of books to read, and children who love to be read to. A creek with running water to keep the indoor facilities functioning.

We have containers to pack with snow and store food in as the refrigerator and freezer gradually lose their cool.

The automated message from the power company is not encouraging - "by Sunday, December 27." Normally we would have just said, "Oh,well, OK," but this is Christmas! The decorated tree stands unlit. Our previously festive house looks dark and spiritless. Santa Claus will find us, fortunately, because Santa's helpers are remarkably prepared this year (mostly), and vow to make Christmas festive for the offspring, even without lights and Christmas music and Christmas cookies and Christmas dinner (because cookies and sweet potato casserole really do have to be baked, and I'm not prepared to deep fry a turkey - ever). But to old elves who have never spent a Christmas without those things, the prospect is rather dampening.

By Sunday night, we decide that we need to go to town. Town never lost power. The phone is back on, sort of, but we need more drinking water, food that is easy to cook on top of the stove, paper bowls and cups, and more batteries. And we can go to the Mountain Man's office to recharge the flashlights, the cell phones, and other things we consider critical to survival.

They aren't, of course. We still have plenty of snow to melt for water, we could use candles, and people know we're stuck without power, so it isn't completely necessary to call our parents every day with an update that isn't an update (still no power, still fine, love you).

In years past, family members went months without news of one another. In this age of instant gratification with email, text messages, voice mail, and whatever someone invents tomorrow, we don't have the patience to wait for a letter even 2 days later, much less the weeks or months it would take back in the day. Whosever day it was.

The Mountain Man and I talk about how our grandparents and even to a certain extent our parents were without electricity and/or running water while growing up. (I myself remember 40 years ago visiting my stepfather's grandmother's house and having to go to the outhouse in the middle of a 20-degree night.)

The Mountain Man chops wood; keeps the fire stoked; cooks grilled cheese, pancakes, and French toast on the wood stove; hauls water from the creek; and generally works like our great-grandparents worked.

I do 6 months worth of filing. I spend time with Christmas Day items - wrapping, sorting, unpacking, taking a battery-requirement inventory (buy stock in Duracell), and general cleaning and sorting and putting away of things.

We play with the kids, but they are VERY good and make up their own games a lot of the time. They play out in the snow a lot, and I keep the kettle on the stove for hot chocolate. We hang their snow clothes and boots and mittens near the stove to dry between outings. They build snowmen, play with the puppies (who knock over the snowmen and eat the carrot noses), and enjoy being pulled around the yard on the sled by their father.

But today is a grand adventure. Prior to the snow, first the Queen, then DeBoy each spend a week with the flu. Between December 5 and 18 I leave the house twice, once to go to the doctor. DeBoy and I pick up the Queen from school on the 18th, her last day until January, and the snow has already started as we head home.

So we restock and try to do some preparation for Christmas, particularly if it turns out we have to leave and go somewhere else. On the way home we spy a few work trucks out and about, but when we arrive, still no power.

Just at dusk, the time when it's too dark to read in the house, but not quite dark enough for flashlights, the Christmas tree lights up and the lights on the porch railing glow again. And there is much rejoicing.

And I wonder about those ancestors with whom I have walked for a very short, and yet oh, so long three days. They had no prospect of lights coming back on. The dark dreary days stretched endlessly before them for at least 3 more months - maybe six. If there were any Christmas lights, they were candles in a window, or maybe on a tree, at the risk of fire.

Today is the winter solstice - first day of winter. And the lights have returned.

We have power, we have water, we can have our definition of a proper Christmas for our children. Who are the two best kids in the world, even when they're trying to get at the top of the naughty list. They have their own light, and all the power outages in the world won't quench it.

And so many people who have plenty of Christmas lights and trappings on the outside feel none of the spirit on the inside.

I would hope that none of my readers are feeling sad this season, but I know many of you are going through tough times of one sort or another. May you find peace and joy in the midst of chaos and sorrow, and hope for a better time to come.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

This all had to come off, of course, once the power went out and the stove was put to use.
Snowpeople and Santas overlook the Christmas tree.

The Mountain Man packs the first cooler with snow to fill with food from the fridge.
The first snowman
In spite of the 24 pictures I took, I never quite captured the 3-d effect of looking into a fiery cavern in the wood stove.

Of Pups, Spaceships, a Pumpkin Patch and Marriages and Things

Um. Hello?

Remember me?

Yes, I'm back.

Where to start.

When last we left you, we were in possession of 5 of the 6 puppies. We found homes for 3 of them within 2 weeks (which indicated to me that these people did not even TRY to find homes for any of them, they just dumped the puppies). One of them ended up with a former student of mine, which was pretty cool. The two that we kept are now 5 months old and weigh about 40 pounds each. These are going to be big dogs. They're already bigger than Zoey.

On the Monday after we delivered the last puppy to her new owner, I heard the dogs making a huge racket and then I heard what sounded like a cat being tortured, and I ran out in the yard and found this little guy.

This one was promptly named Buster Brown and weighed in at 5.8 pounds. Here he is next to Chewy, the "little" puppy.

And for comparison purposes, here he is next to BC. We found a good home for him after about a week.
Until we're sure they're completely housetrained (Gadget is being slow), the puppies live in this kennel. One day while they were outside, BC decided to try it out. Please note I would NEVER attempt to put this giant dog into this kennel. Until I saw it I wouldn't have believed he'd fit. (The red by his leg is a chew toy, not blood.)

I baked bread one day. I'd like to do it again. This is my mother's recipe and I was very pleased that I managed it.

We have two sets of dining room chairs. One set was my grandmother's, the other set was the Mountain Man's grandmother's. My grandmother's set (on the right) was recovered by my stepfather along about 1988. The other set was last done around 1965.
So I recovered them. I haven't quite finished. I have 3 more to do. What you see underneath the torn part is brown vinyl. Underneath that were two layers of a black upholstery which was quite pretty and predates my mother-in-law. And then some fluffy stuff that used to be padding and wanted replacing.

Here are two of the finished ones.

DeBoy and I accompanied the Queen's kindergarten class on a field trip to a pumpkin farm. He was VERY proud of himself and got to ride with the big kids on the hay wagon.

He's feeding the goats here. That's him sporting his new short haircut. I took him in to get the bangs trimmed, and he kept telling the stylist "shorter!" I might get over it. Someday.

The next day was his 4th birthday - the theme was "Dinosaurs from Outer Space."
The blue spaceship cake he requested. They continually test my creativity.
Not a baby anymore.
They both played soccer again for the 6-week recreational league. DeBoy is #12. He scored like a madman, but wasn't necessarily discriminating about which goal he aimed for (in this particular picture he was correct).

Also in October we traveled to South Carolina for our niece's wedding.

At the rehearsal dinner.
At the reception, DeBoy discovered DeMicrophone.
The Queen with another family friend - they gave out rose petals to all the guests to throw at shower gently upon the newlyweds on their way out. I made the dresses and my mother-in-law made the baskets.
After a full day that threatened rain- the wedding ceremony was dry, and followed by the most beautiful sunset.

Bustin' a move on the dance floor.
The Queen dances with her cousin and new cousin-in-law. The flower arrangment on the mantle was done by the Mountain Man's mother.
Reflections . . .
DeBoy admires the lights decorating the bushes on the path the bride and groom left by.Collecting the used petals. We still have the basket. And the petals. Actually they make quite a nice potpourri in her closet.
We stopped at a scenic overlook on the NC/TN state line on the way home.
Halloween!

Superman and I attended the party at the Queen's school. It was quite the occasion. The kids all parade around the football field dressed in their finery and then go back to their classrooms and eat lots of sugar until it's time to go home. I dressed as Belinda, the Unmentioned Witch of the South. There are no pictures.

SuperMan and the Fairy Princess
The Mountain Man puts the finishing touches on the Jack o' Lantern.
A Rainbow for trick-or-treating!
And a sunset.
We got in one last day of rock climbing in November. Here the Queen scurries up a route next to the big boys.
We went to the Mountain Man's parents for Thanksgiving. The kids took a walk with their cousin.

And now we come to December . . .

Santa's elves help decorate the tree.

Visions of sugarplums . . .
December 5 - the puppies experience their first snow.

And it's tasty, too!

The Snow Princess



Airborne puppy.







And in addition to all that, I've been doing some sewing for pay, as well as making some Christmas gifts. Tuesday the Queen started running a really high fever, and the doctor said she had the flu so now all four of us are on Tamiflu and she's not allowed to leave the house until Tuesday. She missed her last dance class which was to include a performance for parents, the American Girl party at the new library (which opened October 12 and is one of the reasons I've been away so long), and she will miss the Christmas performance of the children's choir at church on Sunday. She started in choir after soccer was over, and they had a Thanksgiving program, so she didn't miss everything, but it's still pretty lousy timing. She'll have 4 days of school then she's out for Christmas.

School has been interesting. I thought I would have more time once she started school, but it turns out I have less. Part of it is the hour in the car every day to pick her up from school (the Mountain Man takes her usually, though DeBoy and I have done it a few times), but there's homework (very limited since it's kindergarten - gets them used to the idea and I certainly don't mind it) and other things like class parties and such.

And the fundraising. We've had around 6 this semester, although I lost count. Every time I turn around it's another fundraiser. But the Queen loves kindergarten. She's missed it this week while she's been home.

The puppies are taking a lot of time. They require training and I'm really not that good at it so it's taking awhile, because the Mountain Man has absolutely no time for it.

My mother came to visit for about a week, and the Mountain Man's parents were here for DeBoy's birthday, so the house has been cleaned more than usual. :)

I am REALLY not prepared for Christmas now. There were a number of things I wanted to do that aren't going to happen. I've lost most of this week because of the Queen being home sick, and I was already behind before that happened.

I'm sure there's a lot of other stuff but I can't think of it right now. And I'm sure the 5 of you who showed up gave up several pictures ago.

I plan to come visit all my buddies, but I don't know if I'll try to read all the posts I missed. It might take another 3 months.